The flashback...

Suddenly I feel nostalgic. Aku bok kak nangga gambar-gambar aku masa sekolah rendah dolok marek kat FB classmateku sekolah rendah dolok. To be honest, I really could not recall the pictures. Even though there are two pictures of me. My primary school year was the memory that I try to forget and I managed to forget most of it. To be frank, I spent my primary school year with most of it were painful memories and too many things happened that made me want to cry, want to forget, want to get even. ;p Most of the memories were full of negativity that I desperately want to get rid of.

*Sigh*

Wish I could turn back time, I want to reorganise my life back then, I want to control my emotion, I want to just concentrate on my study and forget about socializing, I want to be heard so that some people that misunderstood me back then knows how I felt at that time, I want to ask them what did they actually hear from other people about me that they isolated me, I want to ask them why did they trust what other people told them and why didn't they ask me themselves?

I know I'm not perfect, I'm not Miss-Goody-Two-Shoes. I know sometimes my attitude annoyed them, my words hurt them, but some things that I did not say, some things that I did not spill, some things that I did not do, but they thought that I did it, and they never even try to ask me whether it's true or not. I was isolated, I was being left alone...

Those things gave a huge impact on my personality nowadays. Before, I was outspoken and full of confidence, but now I was vice versa, I try to hide my feelings, because I'm afraid that what I would say will hurt others, and the old memories would come back to me, I was afraid that I will be isolated again, being left alone once more...

But, thank God that I have many good friends now despite from my unhappy childhood life. That's why I try to forget....but the pictures....brought me back to where it all started....